I’m trying to peal an orange and I just managed to hit myself in the boob with it
Girls don’t like guys
Girls like Ellen Page in a suit
IF YOU GET STABBED DON’T FUCKING REMOVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.
however if you’re trying to kill someone DON’T FUCKING LEAVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF THEM IF YOU TAKE IT OUT THEY’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.
- person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
- me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
You ever just realize how lucky you are that you did that weird thing that led to you being friends with the people you are friends with?
someone please make a meme masterpost of every tumblr meme ever
it doesn’t have all of them but it has a lot of them
this is so surreal honestly its like traveling through time
i dont like this
i have to leave for work in ten minutes and i’m not even wearing a shirt yet
here’s a tip: if you start dating a depressed person, don’t be surprised if they are still depressed while they are dating you.
they’re not depressed because they’re single, and you are not an all-powerful cure for mental illnesses. just be there for them.